The Measure of All Things

From a very young age, solitude has been my constant companion. My father left for war, and my mother managed our household and lands with unwavering resolve. So I was left in a constant state of waiting, surrounded by maids but essentially alone, creating a world of my own filled with indulgences. Freedom can be a seductive thing when you're left to your own devices, and while they fought their battles and embarked on their adventures, I began my own journey.

Indulgence seemed innocent enough, a form of self-kindness, a treat here and there. But how easily it slips from a harmless pleasure into something more insidious. Today’s small indulgence can become tomorrow’s habit, and what starts as a bit of something we enjoy can escalate to stronger and more dangerous practices. It’s easy to lose oneself, like a child testing boundaries.

But the truth is, as adults, we hold the reins of our own lives. We make choices from an array of infinite possibilities. I became an adult at sixteen when an arranged marriage was thrust upon me. Though I was considered grown, I didn’t yet act like it. I indulged in the freedoms of adulthood—wine, aperitifs, digestifs, and anything that could make reality more palatable. In the haze of tipsiness and blurred vision, I became the life of the house, all while waiting for my predetermined fate.

Waiting brings with it a gnawing emptiness, a constant feeling that something is missing. This void can never truly be filled because it’s rooted in an idea, a construction of something we’ve learned or been told. To survive, we often turn to indulgence to fill this void, but it’s a temporary fix. The wait for my fate began long before my arranged marriage; it started when I was but a child, perhaps even a baby. It began with the traumas life thrust upon me, like the absence of my parents and my childhood in solitude. It took me twenty years to discover the moment where my biggest fears were planted. But I only found them because I was curious enough to want to know more about myself, more about the things happening to me and the way they affected me.

Finding the source of our excesses is a long journey, but necessary for balance. The first step is acknowledging the issue. Help is vital, whether it comes from self-reflection, reading, or talking to others. For me, temperance has become a guiding principle, a practice that propels me forward. Most importantly, it taught me the value of patience and self-discipline. Through temperance, I strive for a balanced life, resisting the pull of indulgence and focusing on a steady course. The key is eradicating bad habits and turning to healthier ways, but self-flagellation for falling back to old ways won’t help at all. So, forgiveness is also a crucial part of the improvement path.

In the end, it’s not just about waiting for something or someone, but about what we do with that time. It’s about finding strength in solitude, wisdom in patience, and balance in temperance. It’s about becoming the best version of ourselves, no matter how long it takes. This is the measure of all things—how we grow and transform in the face of waiting, how we forge our own paths amidst the trials, and how we rise above indulgence to achieve true balance.

Temperance Memorabilia

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